We’re often told, in love songs and Agony Aunt columns, that
we should never try to change the people we love. We are also told to be wary
of people in relationships who try to change us. In relationships, ultimately
we have the power and ability to walk away if we don’t like what we’ve got or
don’t want to change at all.
For horses it is different, they’re stuck with us whether
they like it or not. At one stage it was all the rage to consider your horse’s “horseanality”
in deciding how to treat him. But what if we turned the mirror on ourselves and
said, “How does my personality suit my horse?” What does my horse NEED ME to
be?
On the whole I think horses would want the same thing from
people, quiet, calm, considerate, consistent, reliable, unemotional people; people
who recognise that a horse is just a horse trying to find the best way in life.
People love their horses but sometimes they don’t act as if they
love their horses. The way they speak about them gives them away. They may be
too loud and too fast for their horse to get a word in edgeways about the way
he is feeling. They irritate their horse with the touch they use or brush him
like a carpet.
Really, deeply, loving your horse means noticing what he
likes and what he doesn’t like and being prepared to change. Being prepared to
work on your relationship both in what you do but also in how you are.
A while ago we watched a horse owner pull her horse out of
the field with a Dually half hanging off his face. She immediately trotted him
a few strides down hill on a gravely surface and yelled to her mate, “He’s
sound!” She continued to shout and show off around him, tying him up in the
yard to brush him and each time he pushed her with his head, she’d shout “If
you do that again, I’ll put you on Ebay!” Eventually he stood on her foot.
Hard.
