9th July, 2008 Cello concerto

All of the above photos were taken by Ella J. Porter of pokka dot photography.

I am chuffed to bits that Kate Boe and her sister Ella, have decided that they would like Cello. Kate did a huge amount of free work for me when she was training to be a McTimoney chiropractor and did a great job. Fingers crossed that he will stay safe and well until he is weaned at Christmas and then he will be off to his perfect new home.

I rode Petra yesterday before the monsoon came and noticed that she is re-balancing the way that she moves now that she walks more slowly. At first she tripped a lot but seems to have it sussed now. As she no longer flashes through the atmosphere like a rocket ship, she is also inclined to spook a bit more - something I think she dealt with before by being going at speed. Despite the blustery conditions, she did really well.

Today I have started putting things together for the first newsletter of The Herd, a free roaming, probably semi-feral group of like minded people seeking the best way to work with their horses. I am hoping to turn this group out with each other for the first time very shortly and hope that there will be no kicking matches or anyone trying to prove that they are Alpha mare. I have been suprised at the level of support for the idea - I suppose a lot of people can feel isolated within fairly "traditional yards" where there is bad tradition rather than good.

Since the discovery that I have SPD, I have experienced a huge sense of relief. I've got tons of support now and an explanation for why, for example, I prefer wearing David's ancient jumper and Rohans, rather than tight fitting girl clothes. To the tactile defensive, comfort is everything! Incidentally, people with SPD are known as "sensational". Well, there's a first......

7th July, 2008 I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, I know a song that will get on your nerves, all day long.....

I don’t know whether to feel happy or sad, shocked or elated. For the whole of my life I have struggled to cope with repetitive noises, movement or touch no matter how well intentioned that touch is. And for the whole of my life, I have been punished, rejected, ridiculed and berated for being over-sensitive, awkward, and plain difficult. I never met any sympathy or empathy. Often I have joined in with this negative image, feeling totally unacceptable and I struggled with my self-esteem, confidence levels and endured chronic depression. Fortunately I have improved immensely in the last ten years with the (almost) unwavering love of my husband and my closest friends. The best therapy for me was to be believed, tolerated and occasionally distracted. I can enjoy meals out, evenings in by the telly and a relaxing massage but I still hate being kissed, any inadvertent touch or the sound of someone swallowing near me. In the early hours of Sunday morning I googled some random words about the way that I feel and came upon the Sensory Perception Disorder website. Looking through their checklist I ticked almost every box under auditory, visual and tactile perception. Far from being a psychological problem, it is a neurological one and has been recognized since the late 1960’s. So why has no-one recognized it in me? I have had years of counselling and two years of medication but to no avail and in all that time it wasn’t spotted. I have confronted the problem over and over again until I am sick of relating my early history to complete strangers. This morning a book “Too loud, too bright, too fast, too tight” by Sharon Heller arrived and it could have been written about me. These phobic type responses have blighted my life at times, making it difficult for me to attend lectures, family get-togethers and to have meaningful relationships and it’s amazing that I was able to get through University or to work in an office environment at all. The good side is that I think these feelings have enabled me to feel a great deal of empathy for horses, whose sensory responses are always more finally tuned than ours and to understand that no, human touch may be really unpleasant for them and being confined in a small space with no chance of escape may be very stressful and that loud noises and shouting are abhorrent to them. I am a great believer in systematic-desensitization but could never understand why it wouldn’t work with me – exposure to dripping taps and ticking clocks just drove me further and further up the wall. One psychologist once threatened to lock me in a room at the local mental hospital while all the patients were eating – I didn’t go back. Horses are fantastic at adapting and learning that things, even things that have attacked them before, are safe. It’s so important to do it step by step and bit by bit if we are not to stimulate the alternative response of mentally leaving the room and shutting down and there are ponies like Piper, who can’t ever switch off their sensory responses and I have got to respect that. I think it also helps me to be in the moment with a horse – I always notice if they invade my space or if their body language changes.

I’d love to hear from anyone else with similar leanings and I unreservedly recommend Heller’s book. Having said that, I am only half way through and hardly daring to believe that there may be some solutions to the problem even if there isn’t a total cure. I have always thought that this might be as good as it gets.

5th July, 2008 Go West

Julie and I were off to Bere Regis today to work with Joe, a powerful Quarter Horse, Spike a pretty solid cob and then a Dartmoor scurry pony that has developed an ear phobia. It was interesting to see Joe ridden Western style and just how accurate he is even though he is only five. Theme of the day was finding the yes and making sure that "the right" behaviour was acknowledged. All three horses were as bright as buttons.

4th July, 2008 Combined training

I am pretty elated - I have had major breakthrough in trying to ask Petra Perkins not to rush towards home. So, picture this (you'll have to because I wouldn't photograph us looking so scruffy). Petra and I went out riding and she's wearing her red Monty Robert's Dually and her Boett to fend off the flies; we didn't intend to get hot. I'm wearing my gardening trousers and a hat with no silk. However, I combine everything I've ever learnt starting with Margrit Coates - the reason my horse rushes home is because that's what I do too; I've always felt a gravitational pull towards wherever David is, reinforced by the roller coaster of our early relationship. I used clicker training to reward her halt (and therefore her attention) and employed a variable schedule of reinforcement with the odd bonus. I'd added a dash of sugary coarse mix to the pony nuts to keep her really interested. I counted her strides a la Mark Rashid and thought "yes!yes!" every time I saw a stride I liked as suggested by Perry Wood. At the halt I waited for her to soften in some way before we move off again - a blink, a lowering of the head or even better a really deep sigh and suddenly I've got a relaxed horse that I can talk to, walking at a sensible pace with little or no contact needed.

3rd July, 2008 Bellisimo

Note: Picture one - still some tension about being in the trailer - high head carriage, braced neck and ears and unblinking eye. Picture two - braced hind legs and wary of what's happening behind her (note how relaxed the owner is though); picture three ramp moving and horse watching.

Recently I have written two articles for the Listening Post on loading the first time loader and remedial loading. In both I emphasise the need to practice, practice, practice and to have a systematic careful approach which introduces the horse to each part of the trailer (in this case) bit by bit. I think of the horse as an engineer needing to know how every component of the trailer works. Our current loading horse, Bella, has been the perfect example of a horse that has needed everything explained as she goes. Each time we change one element she is extremely wary and yet after a few repetitions she has calmed down and accepted the change. Last night we were able to put the ramp up for the first time and although she jumped a little as the springs flexed, she didn't panic and stood quietly once it was up. The owner tells me that she has been offered all sorts of advice from different people who have never met the horse and seen just how nervous and reactive she is: oh, stick her in with a partition they say - hmmm, this is a horse that can fly out backwards when she wants to and gallop on the spot inside the trailer. Put her in with another horse, they add - I agree, but only when her behaviour is calm enough that she isn't going to put the horse's confidence and safety in jeopardy. Fortunately the owner in this case has been as cautious and careful as we are and between visits she has done every bit of homework we have suggested. Accordingly we will be able to put another horse in with her next time and with any luck she will be able to travel her by the end of the month.

On occasions, short cuts will work but I would much prefer to go through every step and if necessary to invent some smaller ones in order to make it easy for the horse to do the right thing.

Copies of the Listening Post (issued four times a year) are available when you join the Intelligent Horsemanship Association. At a cost of just £20 per year, membership gives access to all sorts of benefits including discounts on demonstrations, training sessions and merchandise as well as contact with like minded people. Details can be found at http://www.intelligenthorsemanship.co.uk/

2nd July, 2008 In which sulking works!!

So now I have heard from two of the people I went to see the week before last and all is well!!

Here are all of the latest reviews:

Hello Sarah, you certainly seem to keep busy. William and I are really enjoying one anothers' company. Without any clip he allows me to put headcollar on and off. He just loves walking out in a very much extended yard out into the barn, leads either side and will stand quite happily.We have four mares on site, occasional calls but no problems as yet.I never thought he would allow me to handle his head as he does,no prob with worming either. Now of course I will try down his legs,clicker I think will be the way forward with this.Thank you so much for getting us going, I am sure there is a brick wall looming,but lets go slowly and see.
GS

Just wanted to let you know that was real turning point for us – the techniques you explained to me were so simple and easy to use/understand but once I had used them a few times I finally began to feel safe around her which, as you can imagine, has made a huge impact on our relationship. Immediately after I was thinking, yep, I read about all that, so that's what it looks like etc but only once I put in into practice did I really appreciate it. I had been milling about, not committing to either natural/intelligent horsemanship or traditional and the session made me make a decision. I guess I just needed someone, one on one, to show me, to give me the confidence to deal with her myself.

I have since decided to go down the ‘Parelli’ route – mainly because it is so easy to follow and I am a person who likes structure and a plan. We are doing OK and making lots of progress but I think it will be many months before I ride her, if ever. I could not have moved on at all, without the confidence you helped me find. Thanks again

AR 25.6.08

Once again many thanks, you have helped so much I don't what I would have done without you!!
CA 1.7.08

I so enjoyed the session you had here with Knickers and I, and we both learned a thing or two.
SR 2.7.08

Sorry not to reply before – been a bit fraught at work....Charlie has been brilliant. He settled down much more quickly and even nibbled a bit of hay straight away! There was not a squeek out of him on the lorry either. They have been hacking him everywhere right from the first day and he has not put a foot wrong or even batted an eyelid!
VB 2.7.08

1st July, 2008 Confessions, more reflections and inner healing

I have got to admit that I have been a bit down lately and all those people who say "should" and "ought" will tell me that I "should" let things go and I "ought" not to mind. It all started when I went out to about four horses in a row where the owners seemed very happy about the work I did and yet I have received no feedback whatsoever. One was a pony where the owner was really extremely worried about loading him to go to his new yard and after a little groundwork he loaded for me without a murmur. Now I know I shouldn't thrive or survive on positive feedback especially when the horses generally tell me I've got it right, but I do and I know I shouldn't get emotionally attached to every horse I meet, but I do and I genuinely want to know how they are getting on afterwards. I especially wanted to know the outcome of the blood tests on the little horse I mentioned last week. This week has already started off with some very satisfying sessions - Talin went long lining in the inclosure and was perfect and the little section A I went to see today allowed himself to be touched with a plastic bag on a stick and then had his saddle on without any problems.

Interesting then to meet Margrit Coates tonight at a book signing at Waterstone's in Salisbury. She was asked whether she manages to let things go after what is always an emotional experience with an animal - she says that she has reached a stage where she does but that implies that she hasn't always been able to which makes me feel somewhat better. It's a wonder I haven't met Margit before as she only lives two villages away from me and I have been hoping to bump into her for a long time; fortunately she has heard of me too and we are going to get together in the next few weeks to talk about our work. I really do envy her her belief in what she does and I am certain that any hands on work with horses reaches their soul and helps them to get over past experiences. I'd love to ask her to work with Piper.

On the way home I was trying to work out whether our work could be truly compatible - if she is able to get an "in" to what has happened to them before (I can only make informed, sometimes very informed guesses) then surely my work with the horse and the owners can make it less likely that the same stresses or abuses will happen again or that the same emotional triggers will be activated. By promoting a more logical understanding of the way horses work and urging owners to meet their physical and emotional needs I'd hope that new abusive situations could be avoided. I also hope that I have a generally healing hand - horses always seem to go well for me and to become much calmer. Margrit is in the fortunate position of being able to be quite outspoken whereas I have to be mindful of IH as an organisation and try to be have to be very measured and diplomatic in my approach (that's not come out quite right, I am sure she has to be too). There are times when I long to shout out for equine rights and to bear a banner proclaiming "ban the flash noseband" and "more freedom for horses".

I do wish the bubble would burst for Parelli with it's emphasis on complete domination of the horse. Unfortunately the end results can look fantastic but the horse has to mentally leave the room to get through it and let me say it again, it does involve hitting horses. Again it really brought me down when one client told me how absolutely brilliant I was but then said that she was going to take the Parelli route.

On Tuesday last week I watched a dressage to music demonstration and despite a week having gone by, I still feel a great deal of disquiet about watching horses with their mouths strapped shut and splother running from their mouths and over their chests. Are those horses truly enjoying their work as much as their owners are enjoying their riding?

I am really looking forward to meeting Margrit again and also to the Mark Rashid demonstration which starts on 11th July.